We’ve seen this pattern before: as cruel and reckless public attacks on women in politics have been made public, so have countless “apologies” that followed. Yet no matter the choice of or amount of words used, twisted and strung together, it is still painfully evident that hateful, stereotypical insults used on female leaders continue to be normalized and disguised in our society.
“Fucking bitch”, “rude” and “disgusting” were among the words thrown by Republican representative Ted Yoho of Florida to his Democratic colleague Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as she ascended the steps of the Capitol last month. Although the blatant verbal attacks were rooted in the two representatives differing stance on issues of poverty and crime rate, Yoho’s choice of words represented a personal and bigoted attack on women instead of civilly challenging her ideas, reflecting the larger issue of misogyny and discrimination that women have been dealing with for — well, only throughout our whole lives and our existence thus far.
But it’s what Yoho said following the altercation that further shows how deep misogyny continues to run through our lives beyond the explicit nature of verbal and physical harassment. In an attempted “apology,” Yoho denied having uttered the slur against Ocasio-Cortez and in pure defense of himself said, “I cannot apologize for my passion or for loving my God, my family, and my country.” Instead of focusing his apology on Ocasio-Cortez, the woman he attacked, Yoho swerved by using his words to center on himself and his actions. His phrases were defensive and arrogant and worked to remove the blame off of himself. Again and again, women are portrayed as the dramatic and oversensitive ones who take offense way too easily. A woman who keeps her silence reinforces weakness, yet a woman who speaks out reinforces the melodramatic “fucking bitch” that Yaho’s words normalize. Yaho’s defense strategy includes the mention of his personal relationships with women: “Having been married for 45 years with two daughters, I’m very cognizant of my language,” he said. Yet being around women is not equivalent to respecting them. Yoho’s defense exemplifies the false allyship that many use to divert away from their own internalized individual biases and discriminatory practices. Knowing or associating with women or other minority groups shouldn’t be an automatic card of immunity to be played by those who intrinsically mistreat and look down upon others.
It never just has been explicit slurs like “bitch” that women have endured being belittled by in their homes, schools and professional spaces. Other terms used to refer to female peers and colleagues such as “young lady” or “girl” not only enforce the patriarchal stereotype of women as having to answer to and subject themselves to their male peers, but also to their white ones. Black women were only granted the right to be called by their names in the 1964 Supreme Court decision Hamilton v. Alabama. Prior to this, only white women were addressed in a more formal and respectful manner, whereas calling adult Black women “girl” and “mammy” propagated the idea that women of color didn’t hold their own identities in the households and workplaces of white America in which they served.
And less than a century later, Representative Yoho’s so-called “apology” still refused to directly and rightfully address his colleague Ocasio-Cortez by her name, a name that holds immense power and presence from Capitol Hill to those she inspires, tweeting “Bitches get stuff done.” as a final warning to Yoho, and the rest of America.
“This issue is not about one incident. It is cultural. It is a culture of lack of impunity, of accepting of violence and violent language against women, and an entire structure of power that supports that.”
Alexandria Ocasio- Cortez
